Much Better

October 25, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 5 Comments

It’s been about a year since I was diagnosed with cancer. At that time the only symptom might have been a lower immune system that put me in the hospital for three days with pneumonia. Afterward I felt fine, except for that little lump in my neck.

Starting last Christmas week they clobbered me with chemotherapy for three months. That tore me up and sapped my strength, to be expected. Now, seven months after the last dose, I feel much better.

All my hair has grown back and most of my energy has returned. But, after being somewhat sedentary for half a year, it’s taking a while to get strength back. My blood pressure is stabilized (with medication) and I no longer get dizzy rising up after tying my shoes. At this rate I hope to be 100% functioning by the end of the year.

May, 2020 during an FNGLA Floriculture webinar

I am very grateful to my employer and fellow salespeople and delivery drivers who picked up the slack and helped to shoulder the burden of business. And to our customers who continued doing business with us during my spotty visits. (Then again, Coronavirus made us all scatter like roaches to shelter.) I continue to be humbled by the number of people who sent good thoughts and prayers for my situation. And to my loving wife for being by my side as we drudged through the medicinal swamp.

In my last couple of blog entries I used the hash tag “recovery”, meaning I am recovering from the treatment. Apparently a few people searched for that phrase and shared their blog stories, mostly about recovering from addictions and abuse. My situation was nothing compared to so many other people.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. ” Ephesians 6.

Regrowth

June 16, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 2 Comments

It’s been two months since ending chemotherapy and my body is showing signs of recovery and regrowth. I just got my first store-bought haircut of the year last week. My hair is definitely filling in and growing. It feels like fur. And facial hair growth is getting back to normal where I need to shave more often.

Chemo trashes skin cells so that’s still looking slightly affected. Then I noticed my nails are regrowing…incrementally. I’m assuming these peculiar horizontal ridges are where they stopped growing and attempted to start again, four times.

Meanwhile, I’m gradually regaining energy and strength. Our son John just bought a chin up bar for his fitness so I’m getting started with some indoor exercise. From January to April I got tired just pulling up my pants. Now I’ve worked up to five chin ups.

Tomorrow I go to my primary care physician for my annual physical. I’m curious about the results of the blood tests because I’ve been on a protein-rich diet for four months. Eggs, cheese, meat, yogurt, milk must have elevated my cholesterol numbers. And he was able to lower my blood pressure that spiked at the beginning of chemo so I’m looking forward to reducing and eliminating that medication.

Crawling From the Wreckage

May 24, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 2 Comments

Recovery from chemotherapy is slow and gradual. Just last week I started working on projects that I have been walking past for five months. I have the desire and the ability to do woodworking and gardening, but my energy level is medium and strength is catching up.

I tore up some old decking boards on a walkway next to our house. I can only work about 20 minutes at a time, then get a drink and catch my breath. Then back at it. Besides, it was 90 degrees out there. Just two weeks ago I got very dizzy just standing up from tying my shoes but not this week.

My hair is slowly growing back, along with facial hair. I’m ready for the third haircut this year. The sores in my mouth are gone and the numbness/tingling in my fingers happens less often.

To boost my immune system I drink a concoction of cider vinegar/herbal extract with V-8 every day. Yum. (Yoder’s Good Health Recipe; Cider vinegar, water, apple juice, grape juice, and tinctures of ginseng, goldenseal, echinacea, valerian, ginger, black cohosh, chamomile, black walnut, licorice root, anise, cinnamon, cloves, chickweed, fenugreek, potassium sorbate.)

A Little Better

April 28, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 2 Comments

This is the first time this year that I have not had chemo in four weeks. My body was getting used to the dose every three weeks. Now that I’m farther away from the debilitation effects I feel slightly better.

I hoped that on day #22 I would suddenly feel normal again. No. Consulting with the case nurse at Florida Cancer Center she confirmed it would take months to recover. I noticed yesterday that I have not had a stomach ache in a few days. That’s new. My facial hair is starting to regrow and I’m letting it, although it’s pretty scruffy. My energy level is about the same: Sleep for 2-3 hours, awake after 5 or 6. Need a nap every afternoon, sometimes two.

I’m patient because I have the rest of my life to recover.

Cancer Gone, Still Sick

March 20, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 2 Comments

Thank God I am cancer-free. But I still feel the profound effects of chemotherapy. Tired, slightly achy, weak, digestive issues, and sleepless. I have one more dose of chemo in a couple of weeks so these feelings will continue for another month. It’s to be expected but I’m looking forward to the night when I can sleep for more than two hours and the day when I can tie my shoes without nearly blacking out.

When I made this category of “recovery”, it is not from the disease but from the medicine.

Me

March 5, 2020March 5, 2020 ~ Bob Cook ~ 1 Comment

The greatest problem with feeling sick is it makes me self-centered.

What’s that pain, what’s my blood pressure now, did I take my pills, what’s my temperature now, when is my next appointment? It’s not a pity party but illness points inward and demands attention.

Considerate friends ask “How do you feel?” requires self-assessment and comparison to the last time we met.

When I feel good, just normal, there is everything and everyone else to pay attention to. Before waking up: What’s to do, where to go, what next? Then pets, family, chores, commuting, customers, focusing on the world out there. But when sick, discomfort is predominant. It’s a hurdle to surmount before casting attention on anything or anyone else.

A self-centered life is puny and shallow. Other than work, how do I get the spotlight off of infirmity?

Pray. There is nothing more humbling than sitting at the feet of the Creator of the universe and dwelling with Him. Yes, I drag all my complaints here, then leave them at the foot of the cross and recognize they are fleeting. “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16
Read. Anything that is in front of me. Magazines, books, tablet. But a well-written book pulls you in and takes you there. My wife loves fiction but there is nothing like reading about history and biography from the people who were there and can give you the sights and sounds and smells of reality from their perspective.
TV. My Dad calls it the idiot box. After scrolling through 100 channels and settling on a movie I’ve seen twice I feel my IQ dwindling. Most programs are fast food for the mind. They distract but don’t satisfy.
Cook. It certainly takes thought, attention and a lot of action to create a meal. Before getting sick I used to do a lot of physical work as recreation but now I can at least stand and stir and clean and serve. Then nap.
Screen time. I started writing this entry at 4:00 AM. Then did the usual Facebook/News/Weather/Email mind-dump for an hour. Yes, the internet is a distraction but what a hole. I’ve just started playing Words with Friends with a few opponents. This isn’t your grandfather’s Scrabble but it’s a fun challenge. (What is a Qi?) Back to work.