Maybe Today?

Today I go in for the PET scan to determine if the cancer is gone. I will not know the results until I meet with the doctor this Friday the 13th!

This fourth chemotherapy has been the hardest treatment yet. They used the same medicines but it was harsher on my body. A little more painful, internally, and longer-lasting exhaustion.

The internal pain is vaguely familiar. I remember once doing daredevil stunts as a kid, we climbed on top of the roof of our garage, then jumped off. When I landed on my feet I felt my guts jar. I’m sure it jostled my diaphragm, kind of an almost-hernia. It didn’t knock the wind out of me but hurt my guts. That’s a little what this feels like.

And my neck pain is not in the back but the front. Again, this is slightly familiar pain. Like when you are trying hard to blow up a balloon that won’t expand. Your cheeks are sore but the discomfort includes your neck and ears.

And the stomach pain is manageable. I still can’t tell if I am hungry or have a sour stomach but a little food every hour calms it down.

All that said, I hope and pray that I am cured. I’ll do what the oncologist says, even if it means more chemotherapy but I continue looking forward to when it’s over and I can be pain-free and drug-free.

“The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden;” Genesis 2:15 (Certain restrictions apply.)