I.V., IV

Today’s chemotherapy might be my last. This morning the doctor reviewed the blood tests showing my cells have recovered from the last round and I can tolerate another. Then she explained in two weeks we do the PET scan to see if there are any remaining cancer cells. If so, I get two more doses. I appreciate a back up plan but firmly expect this disease to be gone now. Expect the best but prepare for the worst. If my prayers are answered and the doctor’s original assertion is correct, the cancer is gone now after four doses.

Today was the typical round of several bags and syringes running from 9:30 am until 3:00 pm. On the way out I rang the bell, signifying my last visit.

So I have the next three weeks to endure the side effects. The next five days involve a racing heart, hot flashes, four hours of sleep at night, tingling fingers, and avoiding sick people because my immune system is suppressed.

For sure the chemo effect is cumulative. At first I thought it would be sick the first week and getting better for the next two weeks, then the next dose. But, each dose make me a little weaker with longer recovery. Last week I felt more tired than ever. So I’ll see how this last one gets me.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” said Jesus in Matthew 11:28

“What does not kill you makes you stronger” Sorry Kelly Clarkson but your famous lyric makes for a catchy break-up song but not real life. What does not kill you makes you weaker. And that’s a good thing.

“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it (pain) away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” says Paul in 2 Corinthians 12:8

So, I’m ok feeling like a marionette with half the strings cut. God’s grace saved me, gave me life everlasting, and lets me lean on Him as I walk THROUGH the valley of the shadow of death, stopping to catch my breath.